Tuesday, 15 September 2009

RIP The Swaz

I'm not going to pretend to be too cool to love The Swaz. I'm certainly not going to play down my immense feelings for Dirty Dancing. Let's get a few things straight here. I was born in 1986, a year before Dirty Dancing came out. I grew up watching this bloody film over and over. I loved it.

I've heard people saying that The Swaz made them "a woman", which I was a bit too young for but it did teach me a thing or two. As previously stated, I used to watch it all the time when I was a child. It's the way he manhandles 'Baby' (that pathetic snivelling piece of whinge) with such conviction. It's the fact that his hands are massive against her petite (pathetic) frame. It's his ridiculous sensitive side and yearning for Daddy Houseman to accept him, like he did in the dream...

I was fond of the way he put that Robby loser in his place, getting all angry (bless him). That Robby was a real nobber. Although, to be frank, the scene where Freddy Mercury (right) discovers him having his end away with the bungalow bunny was the first time I ever realised that sex can involve a lady on top of a man. I just assumed that the penis would flop out if that was to happen. Yes, in those days a dick was just a flippy floppy piece of deflated sausage to me. Watching this film (and studying it in great depth with a critical mind and analytical eye) made the penis so much more than that for me, and opened my eyes to the joys of riding such a piece of apparatus. Well, mostly just to the possibility, but you've got to save a penny to save a pound.

Of course, I know that Patrick Swayze wasn't the film. He didn't write it or make it. But he MADE it. RIP Pat, you put up a good fight. alas, somebody DOES put Swayze in a coffin now my friend.

Also - I'm not gonna lie - I couldn't quite get away from how similar he looked to Ken, my barbie doll's hot bloke, and that's a beautiful thing.

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