Tuesday, 8 September 2009


I really like rules. Little ones though, not the big ones. That is I'm not too fussed about the rules that tell me what drugs I can and can't devour, but yet I adore the rules that dictate the way an onion should be cut (for example). I love jobs that have lots and lots of rules. I always learn all the rules and follow them as though the world would end if I served a pepsi in a 12oz glass as opposed to a 14oz. I love all this crap, and I take it one step further with my belief that the universe also goes by a set of rules.

Well, I say belief, but technically the universe does go by a set of rules and those are called science. I'm talking more about things like... I don't think it's possible to have a sunny and hot weekend two weeks in a row. I won't plan to go to the beach on saturday if the previous weekend brought beautiful sunshine and blue skies.

I have rules for all places and events. In the pub, pork scratchings can only be consumed after 3 pints. S&V can provide salty goodness after 1 pint. I have a 4 pint rule when playing pool. Karaoke is basically a 4/5 pint game and I'm not getting up there without at least 15 audience members. That could just be me being a diva though.

A lot of my rules revolve around my bed. Under no circumstances can you wear your clothes under the covers when the bed is fresh. It is massively important that you have a shower before getting in clean sheets, and this counts for 3 days after they have been washed. If they haven't been washed in a while I might forgive you wearing your outdoor clothes in the bed but only if you're really drunk. There are plenty more. It's a miracle I have a boyfriend who wants to live with me really.

Don't even get me started on the rules of mashed potato.


  1. When I was with an ex of mine we had an unwritten rule about Domino's meal for 4 (yes...4...and I wondered why I was overweight!!)

    We shared the garlic pizza bread 50/50. He ate all the chicken wings, which meant I got 2 extra slices of pizza. If these rules were not obeyed BAD things would happen!!

    BAD things!

  2. You're making me hungry! ARGH!

    That's just an example of typical female NO THAT'S MY FOOD behaviour though Beckeh :D